'Not unless ye become as little Children may ye enter the Kingdom of Heaven.'
Words of an ancient Essence Master.
Written by Frater Thoth aka Frater Odin Ferus
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law
The Oath of a Probationer of AA applies to the beginner as it does to the Adept. The diligent mystic searches of the universe who strive to understand life, everything that surrounds them, who study with zeal every phenomena and manifestation that occurs in nature, without the lust for result but who otherwise feel vanity in living without questioning and comprehending the purpose and nature of their existence are also diligent searches of their soul and being. A person pledged to accomplish the Great Work, either by signing the Oath or by strange unknown work of his karma cannot but look deep within his heart and search diligently therein, for he realizes that he also is a part of gigantic work of the universe which encompasses him, bewildered him, that the whole universe with Gods, Angels and Spirits and all the forces is within him, for he is a part of it, equally the Lord of All, One with Naught and All.
When we are born the first years of our life's are blank, yet all of us can remember the interest, the joy we felt discovering the universe in which we have just incarnated. In every object we came across we saw an angel or demon, we comprehended all without reason. We were honest, pure, joyous and open. But when education that supposedly dispels ignorance touches us we become zombies and soon forget the beautiful and colorful world we lived in and descend into the Qliphothic shadow world of demons that devour us and we don't even know it. And yet this fire of life is still alive in our beings, it is indestructible, and it leaps forth, erupts like a volcano in the moments of inspiration and initiation, banishing all the shadows of illusion into which that spider-monster hath wrapped us by its web of treachery and deceit.
In my studies and observations I have discovered that in the beginning of our life's we dwell in a true world, saw things in a true light, we knew the universe as well as ourselves the way it really is, without veils and cover up of reason. Qabalistically speaking, in the beginning we all dwell in Malkuth, the Kingdom. But we all fell from our grace into Qliphoth, the demonic reflection of Malkuth as we began to rationalize the universe. By taking the Oath seriously we slowly begin to return into our primal consciousness and begin to discover and return to the universe in which we once dwell, but which was lost to us.
In my researches I have devised a special exercise that would be helpful for our return to the 'Kingdom of Heaven', and it takes no more then twenty/thirty of our time to Journey into Self.
Sit in your Asana and take some time to calm your mind, pranayma may be of assistance in this exercise that is similar to one given in Liber Thisharb. Begin to remember your live backwards, the events that took place, the people you met and various impressions you had over the years. Think of what has made you into who you are at the present.
Now remember your childhood, especially try concentrate on the emotional rather then rational part, do not rationalize your childhood memories and behavior that seems strange to you at the moment, accept all with honesty and joy the way you once perceived the universe, without shame, openly. Try to be that child, live in him, feel through him, identify yourself with that child, be him.
Now move deeper into your childhood, before you even spoke and walked. This part is the most difficult one to remember as the baby spends most of its time asleep, but it is possible to recover at least partial memory of those yearly years. You can remember the joy and warmth you felt when you suckled you mother's tits, or terrible sadness when you shit on yourself. I can only look forward and assume that actually the moment of birth may be remembered but I have never reached that point. It is a well known fact in psychology that unpleasant experiences are often pushed away and stored in the sub consciousness, it may require great efforts and determination to remember birth, and existence in the womb.
After the exercise you will feel that you gained greater understanding of your being and you will see the universe in a new true light. You will recover memories that you have long forgot, some pleasant, some not. In my case, I remembered having many visions of strange worlds, men and creatures most of which I already forgot. I remember the soul of my died relative come few times and bide me farewell in the great journey that I would soon undertake. It is well known that children are more receptive to the spiritual world then common adults.
There is however a danger in this practice and I warn you, for instance in the case of childhood rape or some other yearly traumatic experience, this exercise is to be undertaken with great care and all the negative experiences are to be calmly understood and conquered, it must be under will.
Many startling and shocking discoveries await you as you venture back into your childhood that will assist you in the Great Work.
Love is the law, love under will