In my previous life I lived in prechristist times in Europe in a place of harsh winters and rocky mountains, perhaps Norway or Swiss Alps. My small lovely house was located very far from the nearest village. I was a sorcerer and I very solumly communicated with the world of men, my friends were trees, rivers and beasts. As I lived in the forest I was also a herbalist, I remember dry sweet smelling herbs were always hanging above my stove. I remember having a huge warm bear skin that I used to wear in winters. I remember that I was very brutal sorcerer and actually killed men that were not welcome to my abode or dared to disturb my peace. The villagers did nothing against me, for they knew I was a sorcerer. And yet I knew how to love, and it was taken away from me by the Gods.
I remember there was a woman, a woman of natural yet heavenly beauty, always smiling, what joy did she bring me! I still remember the love that I felt for her, it was this love that awakened the memories. I think her name was Thilga (it sounds so familiar now), silver moonlight or silver frost, though I may be mistaken, and I cannot remember my name at the moment. Now , our love was that which some call True Love, yet it is this love that brought my downfall.
Thilga was taken away from me, she perished in some disaster, maybe some warrior tribe attacked the village, maybe some beast in the forest devoured her I cannot remember. But I do remember spending a long time grieving at her death, crying and cursing the misery of my life. One night I climbed the highest pick of the mountain. I remember looking about at the breath taking scenery surrounding me. Full moon above me, dense forest below, wolves singing their sorrowful songs, Gods, I loved listening to their inspiring music. And, looking about me one last time, I flung myself from the mountain. I did not die immediately, I lived few minutes, all my bones were broken and I thought; "even death does not come easy to me" and slowly, my consciousness faded into the void. That is all I remember now, maybe with initiation I will remember more.
I know now that the agonizing experience of Thilga's death was necessary for me, but I gave up. I am therefore repaying the debt of karma in this life. Therefore, those holy men in white garments told me that I MUST live this life, they meant that I must not give up like last time, and if I so will this can be my last life, that is, if I will I can become a Master in this life. So, I await farther initiation to unlock the treasure house of magickal memory.